Difficulties: express your feelings
We assume that the relationship is the ideal frame in which one can express their feelings with greater freedom; but in practice, it happens all too often, that couples have real difficulties in effectively informing their partner of what they are feeling. Stay online with our blog and welcome to omegle random chat.
There are basically two patterns of moods:
- Negatives, such as disappointment, anger, depression, frustration, anger, etc.
- And the positives, joy, affection, love, admiration, or reward. When we try to express both types of feelings, difficulties arise that we will detail below.
Many couples tend to avoid, at all costs, expressing frustration, disgust or even anger, since, too often in the past, the expression of such feelings was only the beginning of a dispute, due to the multiple accusations which such complaints involved. We believe that the "crux" of the question is, fundamentally, how to express these feelings, without causing, in which he hears, a sense of criticism, a destructive impression. Looking for good chat? Try bazoocam chat.
How do we get this new effect on our partner?
That is, how can we express the anger that the behavior of our partner produces, without him or her feeling attacked and criticized? We can start by specifying what the other does or does not do that provokes negative feelings. Tell him that you have a problem with what is happening. Then we will get him or her not offended if we "get hold of the feeling", that is, it is not you who irritate or annoy me, but I who feels that way. And finally, we can make a specific and concrete request that could be done to improve that situation: we ask our partner to modify some action in the present or future, to help us solve a problem or even just pay To comment on the difficulty at another time.
How to express your feelings without communication becoming a pitched battle?
If we accuse the other, if we are aggressive, we insult or overgeneralize, if we review all the examples of the past, if we ruminate the problem and present it as something that we have been "guarding", if we interpret the other's motivations, reading their thinking, etc. Our partner will feel attacked and will respond to our attack by defending: conclusion, the brawl will have begun. If, on the contrary, we express our feelings in a direct, spontaneous way, describing the behavior of the other, referring only to the present, without reviewing all the examples of the past, if we are empathic understanding the other's posture, expressing explicitly that we understand the Another, if we take an active attitude to the problem, showing that it is something that can be solved, etc. Probably our partner will feel that he has the ability to help us overcome the problem and that the change we request is possible. But we cannot forget other types of feelings, the positive ones: such as the expression of affection, of affection, of admiration, of reward, etc. It seems that the "normal" is that the expression of these feelings diminishes with the passage of time in a lasting relationship.